Dear Zoe

Thank you for being the beautiful mischievous fun loving light in our lives. Yesterday something horrific happened and 20 families had what you give us daily, ripped out of their lives. 

Thank you for being an unknowing anchor in such madness, for keeping my tears at bay as you pound your mouth to announce you're hungry yet again; healing my broken heart with your countless 'laugh for no reason' sessions; taking an extra short nap: forcing me to read you 4 books over and over, saving me from wallowing in the cloud of this unimaginable grief for 26 families. 

So I pray today for them and for you and your cousins, that you may look back on this as something that used to happen, and I'll never have a conversation many of mama's friends had to have with their kids. Please God may this be the last. 

Thank you baby for being a light in this darkness

Mama & Papa

Your Grandpa ...10/8/45-12/10/10

its adorable watching you hold  a picture of him trying to repeat 'grandpa" and them giving his picture kisses. he would have loved you so much. you definitely have his infinite capacity to love. 

one day you shall meet but for now, you'll have to settle for stories and this...

http://www.photoshow.com/watch/Sg8jP8JQ

 

gogo comes to visit

So that was a fun time with gogo. After the tears on day one, you were taking walks to the park with ''nai ( that's what you call auntie chenai❤) while mama & papa went to work. she taught you songs you still love to stomp your feet to; how to get ready set go, before you toddle off-it's so cute watching you bend over to set & go; we picked up a new bedtime routine thanks to her-way to go gogo; you enjoyed being loved up all day by our small "village"; i could go on. every time she calls she now wants her kisses from Zoe and a run down on your new activities. I hope she remembers because I'm losing track, after 12 mos it's as if you went into acceleration mode.. our heads are spinning trying to keep up. when she first left you used to look for her or look up the stairs as if waiting for her to come down. so judging from both your reactions I think it was a successful trip.
until next time when she comes back on her one way trip, we'll treasure her the amazing time we had....

zoe's favorite things

 

everyday is filled with new discoveries for you I can almost hear your head spin as your little mind tries to retain yet more beauty, more fun, yet another song to dance to, another toy, I could go on.

but in the midst of all the information overload you definitely have things that have found a more loved part of your brain/heart. these things might change as fast as you're growing out of your clothes. people say you blink and they grow and seriously it's becoming all too real.

so my music loving; book 'devourer'; giggling while spinning in circles; running at the park until you're coughing; helpful little munchkin here are some shots of you doing your favorite things......

 

 

 

 

..seriously my heart explodes daily, killing me smalls killing me..

exercise your right...

I have only one recollection of disappointing your grandpa to the point of seeing his face fall:( the first time I was eligible to vote and I didn't. if I had a regret that would be one of them. I felt justified in my "it's not going to make a difference" speech, that came from the frustration of a corrupt government that tear gassed us out of our university because we had too many student government led anti-govt rally's and protests. it was taking me 3.5 years to finish a 3year degree because of their version of democracy. apparently we were the problem. even though yes they would win by bullying, beating and bribing entire villages by delivering stupid amounts of food promising it would keep coming to buy poor villagers votes. with women living in homes where they didn't even have much say in, or husbands/fathers telling them they couldn't because he said so, I was too young to appreciate the power of my voice. the blessing of having a politically aware and active father shoving it down my throat that I needed to care, win or lose. 

lesson learned. I hope as he looked down on us going through the voter info book  ( as you tore pages off, and shoved them in your mouth and laughed at the look on our faces) to determine how our family voted he was smiling. even though you obviously can't vote you we made it a family affair. i hope and pray that you recognize your power and the privilege as a citizen to have your voice heard without fear of intimidation. just psycho rants on Facebook..God bless social networking!?!? 

we missed the tv results action because our day was apparently so exhausting we were out by 8pm. it's been a wild week I guess. but hey we got enough rest to enjoy a lovely playdate today so all is well. I guess bursting with pride is exhausting. why was it bursting you ask?? well a major milestone. you had to get 4, yes 4 shots yesterday and it was scheduled while I'd be working, so that mean't a car trip with just papa. after we excahnged a look of eiiish/yikes/blimey/ etc papa assured us both as your proud papa "I got this honey, we'll be fine". so after mama's ' make sure you communicate what you're doing, she gets it' speech, doggie violet in hand, other toys and YouTube Barney car ride possible solutions determined,  a list of songs to sing when the blood curdling 'I just got 4 shots' cries happened, and snacks papa handled his daddy duties like a champ. bursting I say bursting. and except for a 2minute shots cry-thanks to papa's genius idea of keeping violet music playing the whole time (man your daddy is a genius I say a genius!!! ) you didn't cry at all in the car. in this family, we would describe that as a miracle!! bursting I say I bursting. 

so we exercise our right to vote you as the coolest pride inducing baby ever! 

super excited baby

right now you're in the midst of an almost 3hr nap. oh glory!! the last week and a half have been non-stop excitement so getting you to nap for at least an hour and night night by 8:30pm has become typical.. 

but who can blame you.. you finally met gogo, and the LAX meeting went as expected. Gogo tearfully hugging and kissing you and you tearfully screaming at the top of your lungs. you're definitely consistent my girl, definitely consistent. the tears have waned on both sides and been replaced by shaking your tush when gogo sings "dance around together.. "; "if you're happy .." for the umpteenth time; chasing each other with four voices yelling "go zoe go zoe go" and a hug and kiss thrown in there whenever gogo can. 

and your new BFF status with auntie Chenai who you curl into for just another hug and yet another kisses for baby; who you follow to the kitchen to "help" her cook and it doesn't hurt that she loves to feed you constantly. so the idea of going to sleep seems to be a real bummer compared to all the serious fun that you could be engaging in. even when you're stumbling as you play from obvious exhaustion. 

and this also means loads of chatting, which means new words coming out of the chatterbox.. my personal favorite.. hands clasped together particularly before a meal and prayers are anticipated and a sweet "amen" comes out.  kills me every time. we love it. you're working on 'diaper' and you almost have 'all done' mastered. 

and as a result of such moments being somewhat rare, I'm finishing this as you're getting ready for night night. Jeepers baby girl/energizer bunny Jeepers.  

toddlerhood...

...is fun, thrilling, lots of laughs, beach & playground time are no longer "i'll get to sit for awhile" moments for mama & papa, moments of "she's a genius"-our right as your parents no matter what anyone else thinks:), frequent exclamations "where is she" "oh gosh noooooo zoe" "it's too quiet in here" "please come to mama/papa" (i think this it's your new favorite game). in summary you're  happy, therefore we're happy and i'm exhausted. the good kind though:)

                        
             

we commit...

on October 7 after four amazing parent classes we were blessed to dedicate you to the Lord. it was a wonderful ceremony that gave us an opportunity to stand before other parents, friends and family and commit before God to be the parents you deserve. we will work and pray everyday to fulfill this commitment..

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)

Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

We commit to being the parents that God intended for you. We commit to living our lives according to God's will. That we may be examples of living with God-fearing hearts and purpose driven lives led by the holy spirit. We commit to reading the bible with you, to equip you as you grow. Proverbs 9:10 (NLT)"Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment." We commit to praying for you daily, that you may grow to know Christ intimately, that you may raise your hands in praise because your heart is lifted by your love for The Lord and not because we told you to do it. That you may pursue a relationship with Christ and not religion. We look forward to praying on our knees as a family and hearing you say your first Dear Lord, your first Jesus, and your first Amen. We commit to honoring God for the blessing that is you by making this commitment today.

Hip hip hooray

I've heard more times than I can stand, 1st birthday parties are for the parents. Really?!? Why? I have had 35 already why hijack my baby's birthday? then after looking back and thinking of how grandma & grandpa used to take us or as we got older drop us off at the water world, greenwood park or exploring the botanical gardens ( all in Zimbabwe so you'll just have to settle for little ole Disneyland later..bummer) while they made hot dogs with our friends and cousins parents, I figured I'll just stick with what I know. party for the kid. yes you will not remember it but there's enough photographic evidence of YOUR party. and in keeping with tradition - started also by grandma & grandpa- we did a total of 77 hip hip hoorays this week.. 1 for you, 9 for cousin Jenny and 67 for grandpa( auntie & i cheated on those a little, I mean 67 is a lot. but I'm positive he was beaming down on us) those are positively my best memories of birthdays. pretending to sleep knowing your grandparents were waking everyone up to tip toe into the birthday boy/girl's room and sing happy birthday and do the hip hip hoorays loudly led by grandpa..ahhh good times.

So here is the photographic evidence, hey it might jog your memory..haha