Third Trimester..You're Almost Here!!!

Psalm 127:3 " Children are a gift from the Lord, they are a reward from him". Amen

It's really weird how all week I've been looking forward to looking at my pregnancy app and read 3rd Trimester. Today it finally happened. Oh i got super excited I've been literally walking with a step in my walk today. I even feel you kicking me more today and my belly is beginning to move as you take a stretch(I'm guessing), and my belly button is protruding out more as you grow and need more room. Who would have thought a belly button could take up so much room. So many changes and funky things going on with mommy as you keep growing. My "favorite" is the bathroom visits. These visits are made more frequent by my extreme love of watermelons, the need to be constantly hydrated in this heat with water and occasional (okay maybe more) glass of OJ. The watermelon situation is pretty bad though. This past two weeks i consumed at least 90% of the two watermelons we got from Costco, yup it's bad. On Sunday i consumed so much, during yet another bathroom visit (i don't count anymore) i remember thinking i might as well just sit here for another 10 minutes instead of wasting good energy going back downstairs. I didn't do it, but let's just say 10 minutes later i was thinking the same thought again. But i just can't stop, I'm trying to make sure you are well fed my dear, I'm doing this all for you..hahaha

I'm still waiting to blow up and for my body to scream, I'M ABOUT TO POP. But apparently it hasn't quite happened. Just today i helped a customer at the store and as we were finishing up i asked her if she had any other kids she said she had just had a baby three months ago. I squealed in delight and told her i was expecting you in three months, she looked at me strange and exclaimed "you're pregnant?". i had just spent about twenty minutes helping this lady and she didn't notice my protruding belly. Apparently mommy's skills of camouflage during my chubbier days is now an art form. I haven't even worn this dress in at least two years, which is maybe why it's a little snug on, as your cousin Jenny calls them, my "milkers" They've changed a tad in the last 7 months. Hilarious!

So depending on your temperament and you don't decide to show up early or late, I'll be seeing you in 3 months baby girl. Take it easy on your mommy will you. 

Your Totally OBSESSED with my unborn baby mommy..Wohooo!!!

Last days of Second Trimester

 

Yeah Third Trimester!!

 

Three more months to go

Kisses from Jenny 

Kisses for "baby oe"

Dreams Lived Boldly

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists on trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man” George Bernard Shaw.

Your grandpa loved his wife and kids with everything in him. He used to follow your grandma around the house from room to room as she cleaned the house, and sit by the garden as she tended her garden. He would take her with him everywhere he could. When she was in her last trimester of her pregnancy with Aunt Chenai he had to go to London England for three months for work, he missed her birth, but as soon as was possible he flew them to him. He didn’t want to wait. When he had to travel for work he always bought home the best looking dresses and outfits for grandma. For himself he had no style, for grandma and his girls he was style savvy.  As a little girl I spent hours just sitting in her closet smelling and feeling her clothes and shoes. A couple of times I took a book to read. Grandma didn’t like it when I did that but I didn’t stop. When I got older I convinced her to give me one pair of 70’s knee high boots. Major score! I “assigned” myself a 60’s suede leather boho handbag with fringe. It was to die for and I had asked too many times and gotten nowhere. It took a while before she realized it but let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty, but I got to keep it. Another Major score. When they would go to dinner for his job she looked like a million bucks and grandpa looked at her like she was a billion. I loved how grandma loved grandma.

He called his kids Stars. In his eyes we were stars and there was nothing we couldn’t do. And when we occasionally forgot that he’d remind us the only way he knew how, forcefully. He could be a very intense man especially when it came to his kids and their future. Aunt Chenai and Danai were in addition to being stars his flowers. It used to warm my heart on a Saturday morning when he went around the house looking for his flowers and then once he found them, he’d take them for a ride and stop by a grocery store and buy them whatever their hearts desired.  He used to have a regular ritual when he got home when we were younger. He’d say his hello’s in the kitchen and then tell us to wait for his call. Five minutes later we’d line up at the end of the hallway that led directly to their bedroom where he stood waiting , and he’d call one by one to run to him and he’d pick us up high, pluck a kiss on the cheek and ..next! I loved that so much I was crushed when I got older and it wasn’t appropriate anymore

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 With each one of us he had a theme of similar interests. With your mommy we would talk about business and later his businesses in particular. We’d talk about how I would one day take over. We bonded over our intense love for watermelons (cracked open by him throwing one to the floor and then digging in with our hands...heaven) and literature. We loved the same authors and would have discussions about themes in my assigned literature at school. The funniest was how when he travelled he’d buy books to read in the hotel, and when he came back he’d give them all to me. The funny part was some of them were probably inappropriate for a thirteen year old but he just loved to see me read. As the first he was hard on me so for years the love was mixed with a healthy dose of fear, occasional frustration, and desire to make my father proud.

With Uncle Shingi, they loved to talk politics and sports. They joked and laughed a great deal together. Even though he was hard on his only son, when they had these times grandpa always had a look of pride and a twinkle in eye when his son spoke.  He was super proud of his actor son, who always got the best school play roles and nailed them. He'd interrupt or nudge his neighbor in the audience to let them know “that’s my son" and start beaming with pride.

With Aunt Chenai they shared an intense love of history.  They would talk about Napoleon as if he was our neighbor or the French revolution as if it was just on local news. They would debate history as if they were defense and prosecutor. She was as he called her his “controversial" one. Once Aunt Chenai told grandpa she was struggling with her history class (as in I feel like a B I need to be an A). Grandpa recommended a book and told her read that book only and on her finals she got an “A”.  They would wake everyone in the household during World Cup football. Each time their favorite team scored a goal even if it was1am in the morning Aunt Chenai would run down the hallway pound on your grandparents bedroom door and barge in to high five grandpa, run back to the living room until the next goal. Ridiculous!

Aunt Danai was his baby so he was gentler with her. She was also the smartest one of us so she could get away with almost anything. He attended every award assembly that she was awarded her 1st/2nd in class prize, it was a regular occurrence.  Whenever we wanted more goodies from the grocery store we would give her our requests and have her go with grandpa and we got everything on the list. She was the best little sister.

He was honest with us even when we were too young to get it. When he became an entrepreneur I was maybe ten, but he sat us down and explained to us what was happening as if we were adults. He took us on a drive when we were older, I was maybe 15/16 to tell us how the government’s new economic structure had affected his business and without friends in high places he'd be in trouble. He even explained how each dollar that came in was broken down and how much more he had to borrow from the bank to keep afloat. That was a hard ride for me that’ll never forget. I hurt for him and my mommy and was scared for our family. We’d dodged a bullet but really it wasn't over yet. Thanks to his honesty my life was a lesson in how to/not run businesses. A couple of years later he lost the business and we had to sell our childhood home to a Jewish-American family the Greenburg’s. They were really nice people and I felt okay about them until they started gutting the house to make it more them. I got it but it still hurt it was so final.

I am sure he felt deep sadness and disappointment and more. He still had some means but now didn’t have his business to grow that and had lost the home he had purchased for his kids. We were far from struggling when we left but it was not the same anymore. He had worked so hard having walked his way out the village. He had grown up poor in a village in east of Zimbabwe, they lived in two mud huts with straw roofs cooking over wood fires and sleeping on concrete floors with nine brothers and sisters. His after school program as a young boy was herding cattle and goats.  I say walked his way out because he did his studies by candlelight and walked a day and a half to write his finals and qualified to go to University. All this during the Second Chimurenga War (Revolution War) - a time when black people had limited rights and opportunities and were treated as second class citizens or worse than dogs. Once at University an opportunity came up for him to pick up arms and fight, but one of the recruiters was arrested just before they planned to leave to train. Apparently God had other plans for him. He then fought the war with as he once put it to me “with my mind through knowledge" and stayed at University. He made sure to continue going to  the revolution meetings and being an information and necessity mule from one safe house to another for the political party fighting for independence.

Before and after independence he and his new bride grandma started helping his siblings and cousins out of the village to start a better life in the city. It was easier after as he was able to buy a bigger home in the once white only suburbs. Eventually we set roots in one of those suburbs on 7.5 acres of land with 6 bedrooms, 3 baths and enough living space for the many that came through. In first grade my teacher asked us to go around and say how many people were in our family and I said 12. She looked at me strange and emphasized she meant just in our house and I said “yes 12”. The other kids laughed and I felt odd, but that was all I'd ever known.  When Aunt Danai was in kindergarten she was asked the same question she said 26. Her teacher was disturbed to the point of calling your grandparents to make sure all was well at home. After that she was given as she puts it “a big old lecture” on sticking with the number six. It was a long time before we were just six. Throughout the years family that now includes doctors, accountants, bankers, nurses, homemakers, secretaries and teachers lived, studied and started their own lives in that home. All because your grandpa wanted a better life for himself and his extended family. With this people revered him, sought his counsel and let him talk to them, well as he put it “let me be frank". (He stirred strong emotions in people and they weren't always love). When he lost his business many family members turned their backs and it hurt him deeply. I believe he died with a broken heart because of it. He never understood why. He died with naiveté with regards to his close family, and why they didn't want the best for him and couldn't get his vision. Even when it didn't make sense even to us his kids I know he just wanted to be respected as he had been before. I know it later made him more desperate in his attempt to regain the illusion of his grandeur when he started other businesses.

Your grandpa with all his strengths and weakness loved his family and lived boldly and he would have adored you. You are part of his amazing legacy and you should be proud of being a true African and American woman.

Dec 2007 Grandma and Granpa reading to cousin Jenny and Josh

Grandpa and cousin Jenny chat

John 14:1

  "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me." John 14:1

 You my dear child are never alone. Even when your mom and dad are far or it feels like we just don't get what you're going through, trust that God knows and hears your heart. These words by the great theologian, scholar and leader of the Reformation Martin Luther's Faith Alone ( we'll watch the movie about him together one day) really moved me and I pray you may find some inspiration and comfort in them too...
 "From John 14:1 and other of Christ, we should begin to know the Lord Christ in the right way. We should develop a more loving confidence in him. And pay more attention to his words than to anything that may come before our eyes, ears, and senses. For if we are Christians and stay close to him, we know he speaks to us. ...he wants to comfort us with his words."

Phil 4:13

"For I can do all things(everything) through Christ, who gives me strength" Phil 4:13

This happens to be a verse that both your parents really love and choose to live by. We actually see it as one of the verses that empowers us to hold on to our dreams for our family, and carries us through the days that can seem unbearable. But his peace surpasses all understanding. To be in the right place at the right time to meet your dad happened because of holding onto the knowledge that with Christ anything is possible. After moving to the US and living in Texas your Aunt Chenai and I had a wild ride to California to chase dreams we didn't even know we had. Your Aunt Chenai as you know is a writer and one day decided it was time to move to Cali and not only write but get into film as well. I 'll admit i thought she had lost her mind (this happens often, but you know that by now:))). Mommy was struggling to figure out what to do with her life. I was working hard to make sure i had tuition to finish my MBA, but was also miserable at the idea of what my life would be once i was done. I didn't want to be another suit but was frustrated at how i loved singing, art, fashion etc and studying to possibly be banker had nothing to do with that. Aunt Chenai's wild idea saved your mommy. She was moving with/without me and as her big sister the idea of her alone on the road scared me. She was at that time a sweet bright eyed and bushy tailed dreamer, oozed innocence and one of the least worldly person you'd ever meet.(I know things have changed). So it was decided i was going with her. She had a plan, mommy not really. I just prayed  to God that if it was His will that i go just to keep an eye on her then so be it. I'd figure out the rest once i knew she was safe. I was and still am super protective of her but now well she's LA streetwise. Now i wouldn't mess with her in a dark alley.LOL!

So with the few possessions we could fit into mommy's Ford Taurus we "hit the road". Before we even made a dent in our journey we were having car trouble in El Paso Texas. We stopped by a 7-Eleven and called your Uncles Shingi & Gwi since we had relied so heavily on them when we had car trouble. Along the way we realized we had to be creative car mechanics . According to them it didn't sound good and we were better off turning back. Your Aunt and i took our bibles out and read the story of Moses leading the Israelites out of Egypt. After we prayed we looked at each other and asked each other one question"Do you want to go back?" and our answer to each other was a definite"NO!!" We had no idea what was ahead but we knew it was time to go on our own Exodus. Throughout our journey and when we arrived three days later in California God's hand was with us. And our stories here began and have led us to new adventures, your cousins, new dreams, amazing lifelong friendships and of course for your mommy who just came on for the ride..your Dad and now YOU!
How? Faith in "For i can do all things in Christ who gives me strength"

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority it's time to pause and reflect"  Mark Twain

Father's Day

So today is Father's Day. A day set aside to celebrate the wonderful men that we call dad, uncle and brother. Today is mommy's first Father's Day since your grandfather died. I feel sad, but i feel more gratitude that i got to have such an amazing man to call father. Most of who mommy is today is because of your grandfather. He was the first man who loved me unconditionally, believed in me beyond my wildest dreams, taught me to be a strong, confident, to love my family even when it hurts and so much more. Most of these lessons were learnt by watching him with other people. Another favorite were the car rides we would have. If he saw me bumming around the house and he had business car trip he'd tell me, not ask me, that i was going with him. I didn't mind because we always had the best time talking about everything. Seriously the rides were like a history, geography, english and psychology class rolled in one. The best part though was we would always stop at these cool curios stores on the side of the road, and he'd buy me something as a memento of our trip and some yummy food. Curios stores are little stores made of wood/plank that sell African artifacts, fabric etc. You'll see them one day when we take you to Zim. 

It was important that he was never forgotten and that's why your second name is Clementine after him Clemence Vama. Your cousin Ari has his second name Vama. Your names mean Grace and i believe your were conceived through God's grace. In the midst of the grief and confusion of losing your grandfather we found out a month and 18days after that we were having you. You are God's saving grace for your mommy. Your daddy felt the same way and so from the beginning we have felt you were God reminding us how big and gracious he is, was and will always be.

When i met your dad on our first date which happened to be a blind date i knew he was a special man. And i also knew he was a man i could introduce to my dad. They did meet and only knew each other for two weeks but it was love at first car ride from LAX. Your grandfather was a hard man to impress, but he loved your dad instantly. I know how can you blame him right? In those two weeks before our wedding watching my two guys together made me feel a surge of emotions that cannot be put into words. I had always thought I'd have to convince your grandfather to accept whoever i married, and constantly have to apologize to my fiance for your grandfather's sometimes overbearing/commanding ways. I didn't have to do either. My dad and your dad loved and respected each other. Two men of great character, amazing hearts and deep love of family recognized each other and even though they lived on different continents they continued to affect each other. When your grandfather was buried he wore the suit  your dad bought him to give me away to your father on our wedding day. Until his end our dads love each other. And i know that you will be deeply affected by the deep and intense love that your dad has for you. You will be a "productive member of society" mostly because of your dad.

"Happy Father's Day? that's stupid I'm your father everyday" Clemence Vama.. LOL.

baby in the belly

Yes that baby would be you. YAAAAAAY!!!!! According to my What to Expect iPhone app I’m 3days into my 26th week and you’ll be here in 14weeks and 4days. WOW!! As your dad likes to point out often that feels like tomorrow. We are both very excited, in different ways of course. It’s hilarious listening to your dad lay out all the rules that will be implemented in the home when you get here. He is a major germophobe. He has bought you 6pairs of shoes already. (More on the history of your dad as a shoe expert). One thing we both agree on is how we want to give you nothing but the best that life has to offer. We look forward to when we can hold hands and pray together, as we introduce you to the God that brought your mom and dad together and from whence you have come from. My favorite moments are when i feel you moving in and i can see my belly move. It’s super wild and one of those things you have to go through to fully comprehend. Your dad gets excited when i tell him you’re moving and starts talking to you. For the past two months your Aunt Danai and your cousins Jenny, Josh and Jaden are staying with us, and they way they love you makes our hearts leap. Your older cousin Jenny is turning eight in October and she is soooooo excited you’re coming. She hugs me countless times during the day just so she can possibly hear you. She loves to tell you she loves you every chance she gets. Jaden is three and he likes to lift up my dress or shirt pats my belly, kisses it and says “baby oe”. He’s just learning how to talk so he doesn’t have the Z down yet. So yes there is a lot of love awaiting your arrival. Even though mommy is beginning to feel super pregnant and heavier i feel so blessed to be experiencing these months just you and me