social butterfly??

separation anxiety leads to these kinds of phone calls..."it'll be over soon bebe, i read somewhere that it only lasts until 11months".."i read it lasts until 18months!".."i'm sorry bebe but i don't like your baby app"..neither do i. it's just part of you growing up. this phone call ended on a good note two days later..

after weeks of sweating bullets the first 30minutes after arrival, as you tug at me as we try and play at the playspace, this week was a tear-jerker. the play teachers kept telling me each week it was
 getting better, but you know by now, i have mommy denial. i guess you finally realizing you can walk alone helped too. it was absolutely beautiful to see. even as more kids trickled in you didn't "cling and cry", you just kept going. you let walked over and gave jack's mom hugs and kisses as i played with jack. the teacher, jack's mom and i all looked at each other with surprised grins. it was awesome, i got choked up but wasn't going to do the ugly cry in public. eeishhh. so instead i followed closely behind as you went playing and reaching out hello to moms and kids. still working on the hair pulling, except on the boy who hit you on the head with a ball. that pull i let pass.
today went to a swim school and there was some clinging, which is good in a pool i guess, but you were still as social as you can be in a pool.

so here's hoping this is the slow but sure end to separation anxiety

10 months continued...

you're going to love this one. I have a feeling it'll be happening for years to come. as any baby you're expressing yourself in ways that make us proud and ways that make us, well me pause and remind myself to check that. why do I say me not us. because dada's response.. laughing. not just laughing but making a game of it and then saying " but honey baby started it, it makes her happy". delightful no?' to summarize you've cranked up the kid in your dada, and there's no end in sight:) 

oh and how can I forget how for reasons we're not quite sure of, you're becoming quite stubborn. I mean I see a little of that in dada but I honestly thought i'd rub off on you more. when this comes up in conversation especially with any of your aunts, dada, godmother you'll possibly see the finger being pointed at me. it's just a cute joke amongst them don't take it seriously. to be fair we'll credit your determination to dada then. you can go for minutes trying to figure out how to climb the couch, open a box etc. you only glance at us to make sure we're still there and sometimes give us a ehh smile. such sass. 

and @10mos I'm happy to report you have no teeth. yay for mama!! however you eat like you have a mouthful of teeth. mama signs eat you look and point at high chair and do a dance..again you're your Dada's girl:) 

obviously there's more but we'll leave that for another day.

my baby for two more months....

to celebrate getting the best, most fascinating, life lesson that is motherhood I had brownie and ice cream pretty much as my only meal today. can you imagine what I'm going to do when you turn 16??!?. you know what lets just get to a year old first.

at 10mos you're understanding more so it's becoming even more fun interacting with you.in the last month...
you have a favorite show. i avoided that for awhile but its an episode of Barney that gets us through car rides that we've watched ...times. when i say Barney you look for my phone. its pretty much yours now if we're being honest. the Barney episode works because it's mostly music. during the clapping song instead of clapping on your own belly, shoulder or knee you prefer to clap as hard as your little hand can on my knees and shoulder. so much fun. unless its a board or cloth book those pop ups that were so much fun to read to you are pretty much fair game for your mouth. i read a magazine once that said give babies paper to play with because of the crinkling sound. sometimes i wonder if these people ever had kids.

winnie the pooh never tasted so good

I have a new name for you-P90Zoe. my heart rate has actually gone
as we go up our 27stairs for the 5th time and it's only noon. your buddy jack's mom suggested I have super energy drink like milk after we both thought we'd successfully worn you both out and 3hrs later you were still walking and climbing stairs.eeish!! and yes that means we have a walker!! one that prefers to lead the way. when you want to walk after some floor play you reach for one of our hands to indicate.."get up already"...

is that the garage door i hear? where's dada?

oh new words too- dada and duck for your rubber ducky. as I said before I can wait for the talking so take your time baby girl take your time..two more months and I have a toddler.. cray cray.

"outside"

one question people always ask new mommy's is " bet you can't wait for her to talk?"  having been a committed aunt for the last 9 years, I'm a new mom that's cool about when it happens. I in no rush. I am a mom that likes the idea of communicating with you though and we do that with baby sign. you already know this, however today you showed what a good little student you are. sometimes it feels like I'm "talking" to myself but you're actually "listening".
we take walks pretty much everyday and this week I introduced the tree sign to you and so there was a lot of pointing and smiling on our walks on top of your regular power naps. so this morning I lay my walking clothes at the edge of the bed and figure I could use an extra 5mins of just laying there. well you had other ideas, you crawled to the edge of the bed and one by one brought my clothes to me. you didn't put them in your mouth. Strange?!? you put everything in your mouth.?!? you just stared at me. awkward!! I got up and signed "outside?" "trees?" you cocked your head to look out the window, raised your hands and started squealing and jumping!!! so off we went "outside" to go see "trees".
good job baby girl. mama and dada are super proud of you

in other news, we are working on your social skills with swimdates at your

'friend" Palmer's house and playdates indoors and outdoors. the best part is your socializing always ends in awesome naps. yay socializing!!

pathetic much??!?

when I was 12 going on 13 I was dropped off at boarding school by the entire family. It was all mostly a blur, except when the car drove away with my buddies ( your aunts and uncle) and I got scared and sad. I remember running down the stairway in the middle of the classrooms that  was parallel to driveway. I told myself to not fall apart I was the eldest and had to be strong. so I walked up those stairs to the dorms to meet my new "buddies". since then I've always figured if I could buck up at 12 I'll be good and strong when life happens. my wet pillows will probably say otherwise, but for the most part I've never had a major melt down or anxiety attack I can remember truly experiencing, until today!! 

you and I have had the blessing that I have been able to work, study, play with you nicely wrapped on mama. being apart hasn't been a necessity. when you were still baby baby you slept a lot so I logged in a day or two of work without you, a couple weeks of Pilates at a studio and a movie. BUT that hasn't happened since november 2011. yep. last year!! so today during prayer i felt God telling me to leave you with dada when I ran my errands today. WHAT!! no biggie right.?!? I tell dada this and he "calmly" says yeah cool. then gosh  darn a baby proof item needs to be returned to target. jeepers I say I guess we'll all have to go. in the garage i start feeling, this isn't right. I tell dada i'm going alone, hand you over, and wave goodbye. I have never experienced mommy guilt and thought I might get a twinge today, but i told myself, you're a big girl, be strong. Oh no! It wasn't mommy guilt it was a full on anxiety attack. And i was not strong. felt flushed, heart pounding, short quick breath and the tears would have flowed if i wasn't driving. here's the best part.. it wasn't about you because you were with your dada, so you're perfectly fine. it was ME!! I had anxiety about not having you attached to me. Pathetic much?? I promised myself I wouldn't call dada. Fail.. Called after 15mins, standing at a checkout line with only one person in front of me, feeling hot and thinking why is the cashier so slow.?!? You were fine of course. after the call I calmed a little a walked a little slower and breathed closer to normal. Pathetic much?!? by the time I was driving home I was feeling better, singing along to music and the phone rings. voice says "can I speak to Zoe's mom?" WHAT??!? It's only been 40mins! "it's the doctor's office and her results came in from Monday for her blood work.."pause -really??pause?? seriously?? "everything was negative!!" I appreciate the call, but the pause, pretty sure I stopped breathing for a second, or for a pause..haha. now it's funny. eeish

anyway we were both super excited to see each other again, but I'm glad today happened. now I can't wait to hand dada my new "mama" schedule.. hahaha delightful!!! 

pink? princess? tutu? zoe?

this had to be done! what happened today is what auntie danai would call " a double standard bebe!!" and she's half right. after years of steering her from the princess tutu world for cousin jenny she's entitled to judgement. 

your dada and I have never felt the need to call you princess or had any pink visions of you in a tutu. when I think dance class one day for you it's always been more for the athleticism than the outfits. 

then today happened. it was pool time, the pink tutu swimsuit that someone gave us has been "invisible" to me. but today  I thought what's the harm. It's just an outfit.  and OMG... you were an adorable vision of pink. we're still not calling you princess, we'll still buy more coral than pink, and this is probably the only tutu you'll have until you ask for it yourself. so auntie danai is only half right. but my gosh you looked so adorable.  I now believe every little girl should have a major pink tutu day. so today was the day, and I confess I was delighted by your cuteness. 

nine months

still can't believe you're 9 months old!! i remember when you were days old and i had all these plans of how life would be when you were 9 months old, so many ideas, rules and regulations. cray cray mama has taken a chill pill. enough about me though. this week i tried to make it a mini celebration. starting with your 9 month check up, dada and i celebrated your awesome new doctor, and that you're now a 27.5inch tall, 20 pounder!! 4th of July you had a blast at the beach, walking on the sand, playing with your cousin and eating sooo much you pooped twice in one day!! jeepers! the rest of the week was filled with morning play date with baby friends from sign class;  shopping, reading and playtime at the library and barnes & noble with mama & auntie chenai; and fun at play & music class at kidville. judging by the way you've been sleeping.. closer to sound than ever.. i'd say you've had quite the week. happy nine months my zoe:)



beach time with your cousin kelis



auntie chenai reading your favorite book to you

more playing than reading at barnes & noble