magical moments

"the joy of the Lord is my strength"

one day after during some stretch exercises I kept my hands up and in that moment asked God to be overwhelmed by his spirit, and the sweat became intermingled with some supernatural joy tears. it felt good. those moments don't happen every time I pray but when they do. well, it's magical. the best thing though is God gives us those moments even when we don't ask, we just miss them sometimes in the busy day. so lately I've tried to be more aware. 

I try to maintain eye contact with you when you nurse as much as I did when you were a week old. then I was just hoping you knew i was your mommy. now I see you watch me, your eyes smiling when I smile or make silly faces. delightfully magical.

when we're hanging out upstairs and you're doing your favorite dangerous move. leaning over the edge of the bed. I sign music to distract you, and you look at the iPhone in anticipation. watching your face when the music starts and your little hand go up as you start to move your little body and do your new high pitched scream..I mean singing:)).worship music never sounded so good. our dance sessions with dada as we play 'call me maybe' or 'walking' over and over again because we just can't stand the cuteness.  magically musical moments

coming downstairs from a late afternoon nap, wondering why it's so quiet downstairs to find you wrapped in the ergo on dada, intently watching him cook dinner. heart-melting magical moment

watching you "swim" for the first time, climbing the stairs without help, taking a semi step without holding onto something and squealing with delight when we say good job. and then of course showing off by doing it again. just magical. 

writing this as you fall asleep on my chest.. always magical

so many purely magical moments that fill my heart and soul, and scream holy spirit presence in my heart.  I'm grateful for God's grace that showers us with so many life moments, even on days when we're not worthy. "Your grace is enough for me" 

Our Father who art in
Heaven, hallowed be thy name.." Mt 6:9  Thank you Father for being such a patient, loving, gracious God!!

Oh I love a celebration! and today we get to celebrate dads. I could spend the day sad about grandpa not being here but instead I choose to celebrate him and your dada!
when I married your dada I knew he would be great dad. he was itching to hold his little one soon. having had a great dad, it made me look forward to us having you, especially when we found out your were a girl.

 see grandpa was what your aunts and I call an awesome "girl daddy." he pushed us to have brains but loved to see us dressed up-his words "beautiful".  he actually liked taking us shopping. sometimes he would just shop for us on his own and bring home something good. my first memory was my first holy communion dress when i was maybe 6 years old..ahh I die just thinking of it. white lace with a suede black belt with a flower petal bow!! I still dream about it. the second communion i was at boarding school and had no choice but to wear whatever they brought me weeks before. he bought four outfits. some hardly appropriate i.e shorts, but hey they were white right? I also dream about the gorgeous sari he brought from a trip to India,  the on trend outfits he'd get us on Oxford street on his London trips and gorgeous fabric from Ghana to get outfits made!! my Leaver's Dance dress  ( that would be Prom here) was a novelty for most of my audience when I got home and modeled it. less cake-topper (the more popular at school) more..well it was a LBD,  knee length so nothing to give the nuns at boarding school pause.. grandpa's jaw dropped and exclaimed "beautiful". that's all i needed. in my head i was the belle of the ball! all of grandma's best outfits, grandpa bought.  you'd never guess looking at him, grandma asked him almost every time we left the house to go change or tuck something in. hilarious!

basketball cake for dada

your dada is thankfully a girl daddy. a lover of brains and beauty. he gets just as excited about a trip to shop for you as much as when we talk about preschool, and yet another possible college for you ( yes we are those parents). I've only done one shopping trip for you without him. otherwise he feels left out:)) yep you're one blessed little girl. one day you'll have lots of your own dada stories to tell, but for now these are your thoughts after 8 months with your "girl dada"...We love you dada, enjoy...

http://www.photoshow.com/watch/ds9yK6TF

wedding in wisconsin

the last time we flew you were a constantly sleeping 3mos old baby, so I was cautiously hopeful that you'd be just as good a flight passenger as last time. and thank God you were. our trip to Green Bay Wisconsin was a success. when you weren't sleeping you were laughing ( I never knew I had so many funny faces). we got the same "there was a baby back there". my favorite was " it's because of the mom, you must be so zen!" BIG FAT LOL!!! so good job making mama look good baby girl. because let's be honest you and I know the real deal



such good traveller

 once there we had a really good time. it was a trip that had to be made, because the bride Stephanie ( I call her Yakelzini) is one of mama's favorite people. just an honest to God beautiful person and her wedding screamed Stephanie!! classic example: she wanted people to tell a joke instead of clink glasses to get her and her groom to give each other kisses. so since she loves mama's accents i had to go up there and do it. in her favorite mama accent.. British.. she squealed like a little girl she was so happy. funny thing is when I do that same accent with you, you squeal and laugh too. the best.

beautiful bride beautiful person

yakel loving mama's joke

mama and yakel dying  and crying with laughter at all the bad pics
that keep happening.

I absolutely loved every minute of the wedding. and you were a real trooper at your first wedding. when we're around people you just people watch and everyone comments on how calm you are. or you eat or sleep. and then just as soon as its the three of us.. the party begins. you fell asleep during the ceremony in the car with dada, at the wedding around 8pm, slept in the car back to the hotel and as soon as we get in the room @11:00pm you decide it's time to squeal, crawl on the bed and jump up and down. now there's the Zoe I know! LOL!

all the way from california and north carolina for our
yakel bakel

my "calm" baby

hanging out with bride and groom at the lambeau stadium
on day after

you're becoming a good well trained traveller, "so good on ya sweetheart" (in a British accent of course) for being so delightful and helping mama and dada celebrate a good friend's big day!!

happy birthday baby sister

auntie Danai turns 30 today, so today is a BIG day. she says in her hilarious Danai way " it's too much pressure Bebe!! " yes she's hilarious!! I'm excited to eat cake and celebrate my baby sister. the person I call to get my rational back, when I'm irrational. I like to call her my voice of reason; the only person who I have had a lifetime of "passionate" conversations that include tears- so much drama when we're together..lol; the only other person who laughs at her own jokes-the snickering being the best!!; the mother to 3 little people that rule my heart. yes rule, I'm putty in their hands; a fantastic friend, who when I need encouragement, sends me classic pick me ups.. my recent favorite, after one two many cookies a text "Bebe chubby is NOT the new black!!" what do you say to that. 

I could go on, but the writer in her would probably tell me " keep it short Bebe, you get all mushy" - well here's some mush for you baby sister

I love you, I appreciate you, I thank you and I hope you have a wonderfully delightfully awesome 30th birthday. 

staying in this space

so I've been doing what I always do, which is mommy denial. It happens every time you do something that shows that yes, my baby is growing too fast!!! last couple of weeks you've been saying "maaaa". dada insisted you were calling or "talking" to me. I told him to stop the wishful thinking. besides all the books, "experts", babycentre updates, tell mommies to be prepared that a baby's first word most likely be dada. i don't even teach you the sign for mama. you see the dada sign daily, so I was sure you'd be saying dada any day now. but apparently you're not a statistic!! Yay!! you really are saying "maaa" and it's me you're calling!!! wild wild wild!!
and on top of that, you're doing 5second standing sessions. not completely shocking since you fight us when we try and sit you down. you apparently prefer to stand. it's the cutest when you're holding on to the couch and reach out for a hand so you can move still standing. cray cray baby!!
in food news, your favorite food is definitely avocado. we used to speed eat them before you were born, so they wouldn't go bad. now I'm praying I get a soft one when I open the refrigerator. you've also decided you like to feed yourself as you grab the spoon from us. its definitely messy fun. by the end of the meal you literally have green avocado highlights in your hair!!

keeping mama on her toes

"how do i do that??" you might ask. well here's just some moments that illicit feelings from "awwww Zoe to eeehhhhh please don't fall"

pulling yourself up...ehhhhhhh

trying to climb stairs...ehhhhh

getting your milk anyway you can...help me

always trying to sip on mama's water

cutest after bath face..awwwwww

power of mother

"Her children rise up and call her blessed"Prov 31:28

your grandma once said I had been a challenging child-I'd like to use the word spirited:)-it would've been culturally applauded and encouraged for her to beat that spirit out of me, but instead she let me be, let me grow into my own. a gift that I'll always appreciate. especially now as the mother of a rather spirited baby I know what it'll mean to you later in life to have that spirit!

I was named Ibvisai after my grandmother (grandpa's mother-we called her mbuya). I always loved her gift of storytelling, and how when she walked into a room she didn't wait to be directed where to sit but positioned herself where she felt most comfortable. she was a strong personality whose words deeply affected those around her, good and bad. she used that influence one day to unwittingly change her granddaughters lives. as my aunts were giving grandpa their opinions on why auntie Chenai shouldn't move to America-she's only 18, she's too young; what if she gets pregnant; you can't expect her brother ( uncle Shingi was here first) at only 20 to take care of her blah blah blah-. mbuya, who  was in the room crocheting-a favorite pastime) stopped (rare occurrence) and said "she'll be fine, she's just like me, she can handle it". and that was it! grandpa and his brother uncle daniel did what needed to be done and off to the US auntie Chenai came and because of auntie Chenai  I and auntie Danai came. so because of mbuya  I'm your mother and humbled by that gift.

In 2002 i visited Zim and gogo(grandma's mother) who was now living with my your grandparents had been ill the whole time. my visit had included a couple of doctor and hospital visits with her since your grandparents had to work. we spent a great deal of time together and she held my hand a lot more than before. on the day I left to come back we said our goodbyes in her room, and then as I was walking out the door to the car, she came shuffling over as fast as her sick body could, got on her knees with her head at my feet and said a quiet prayer. that was the last time I saw her alive. I don't know what she prayed but I still feel the power of that prayer 10 years later

these are just a glimpse of the power of mothers that i have experienced that I pray I can halfway emulate. I hope years later you will understand the power of a mother's love that lasts past their lifetime. that you will ALWAYS know that I am because of the foundation and example of the mother's before me, but I am even more since I became your mother. I've never felt stronger, more powerful, confident, more determined to fulfill than I have these last 7months.
thank you for choosing me to be your mother. It's truly the greatest honor of my life.

Happy Mother's Day to you Gogo, Mbuya, and  Mommy!

baby bebe

mommy bebe